At Times Like This (It's Obvious)
by The BatThing
Summary: Damian pits Dick against Jason. Tim saves the day cause he's awesome. Duh-doy.


**At Times Like This (It's Obvious)**

 **By** : Cas

Damian Wayne would never admit it. He swore to himself, he swore upon his training, he swore to the cowl – nobody would ever know he enjoyed the marshmallows in Dick's stupid cartoon sugar cereal. He'd been raised better, far better. He'd been taught his body was a temple and to respect everything that passed his lips.

How many times had he seen father refuse food stuffs that were more recreational than nutritional? Talia had been the same, drilling and instilling into him at a young age to respect whatever energy source he pulled from.

Damn these cartoon marshmallows!

Dick, of course, noticed the change in his rice cereal to marshmallow ratio, but all Damian had to do was drop Jason Todd's name and he was in the clear. It was one of the first times he was grateful for Todd's re-baptism into their familial unit. The twenty-one-year old wasn't around often enough to dissuade the fact, and Dick never seemed interested in pushing it. No, the Romani was still basking in the afterglow of his brother returning to the fold.

Thus, Damian's marshmallow theft thrived.

It took about two months before the inevitable fallout. Dick had stayed over for the night and the next morning, durning breakfast, had started in on the complaints to Bruce and Damian.

"I swear to god, you need to buy more cereal so Jason and I can have our own box." Dick snapped, shaking the cereal as he tried to gain an equal amount of marshmallows.

Bruce, who had been oblivious with his toast and newspaper, raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Jason! He's picking out all the marshmallows from my cereal."

"It's not just your cereal." Bruce muttered before returning to his paper. "Buy more if you want. I don't care."

Damian shoved a spoonful of peach oatmeal into his mouth.

"I did buy this!" Dick exclaimed. "And the last four boxes. I'm done with charity. I swear the next time I see Jays we're going to hash this out."

Bruce hummed his lack of interest.

That had been it for another two weeks, but things never stayed buried at Wayne Manor, and Jason arrived one morning while Dick had been complaining about his lack of sugary goodness.

"You!" He exclaimed at his startled younger brother.

Jason, who thought he'd just walked in on a simple breakfast between Dick, Bruce, and Damian, was quite surprised. "Me what?!"

"Buy your own cereal, is what! Don't you have a ton of illegally attained money?!"

Jason, while confused, was pissed at anyone talking to him in such a manner. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, shit-face, but you better back off."

"Kon khan but, khan peski bakht." Dick hissed.

Bruce apparently understood and cleared his throat. "Enough, you two."

Jason was well versed in holding his own simply shrugged at the foreign language. "Dick, you realize Bruce has tried to make all of his Robins learn Romani because of you? Well, it never took because none of us cared enough!"

Damian couldn't help himself. "Drake and I learned. Richard told you that he who eats too much eats his own fortune."

"Close enough," Dick confirmed. "Buy your own cereal, Jays."

Bruce collected his plate and left the room.

"Dick, first off I dare you to try a whole conversation in Romani. Bet Damian knows more than you, huh?! You lose a lot when you start speaking English as your main language at eight." Jason might have been on the other side of the room, but after that declaration of the truth he wasn't safe anywhere.

"Father!" Damian's voice split as he yelled out the name.

Dick had already thrown the box of cereal at his brother and was now following suit. The two clashed to the floor. It was a rather pathetic fight. Rules had apparently been drawn. The two were fighting like brothers, and not to the death as Damian had expected.

There were head locks, hair pulling, shoving, and whatnot, but nothing remotely life threatening. Damian actually felt disappointed.

Bruce was back in the room, momentarily concerned until he saw the two adults rolling on the floor, surrounded by cereal. He was soon joined by Tim Drake who looked down at Jason and Dick and then to Damian.

"Damian, just tell the truth already!" Tim snapped.

"I haven't a clue what you mean, Drake."

All eyes were on him. Dick and Jason had even paused their rumpus to watch the conversation.

"Every time Dick complains about his lack of marshmallows you suddenly have information about Jason visiting. At first I actually thought it was true, because you clearly coincided one with the other, but as Dick began to believe you things went lax." Tim outstretched a hand to Jason. Once it was accepted he pulled his older brother up. "It was you picking out the marshmallows all along."

"Ttt! This is heretical nonsense, Drake."

Once again Bruce left the room.

Dick and Jason were now both on their feet and staring at the eleven year old.

"Dami?" Dick's smile was so large it engulfed all the anger. "Is it true? You're eating my cereal?"

"Damn, Dick, perspective!" Tim snapped.

Jason quickly agreed. "Yeah, you were willing to chew my ass out about it. Why give this little shit a free pass?"

Tim was quick with an answer. "Cause Damian is a little Bruce and Dick thrives on Bruce's approval, thus in some messed up algorithm he thinks Damian's love equals Bruce's."

"Word." Jason held out a fist, to which Tim smiled and knocked against his own.

Damian was indignant, as was Dick, and while both opened their mouths in rebuttal both were easily ignored as Jays and Tim left. A new friendship forged.

 **End**

1\. Lo siento. I was bored.


End file.
